Adventures in Kitty Land

So, one would think that the cat wouldn't be a huge douche at night, since she is mostly night blind due to her pretty blue eyes. 

She's more than a douche, she's a spazoid douchecanoe that almost got her ass beaten last night. 

Now, I'm only violent in my head, and Husband is a pacifist, but he tried to chase her down in the dark apartment after the 8th time she woke him up.  Now, she's perfectly content laying on the couch and not demanding attention, but 2 am? Hell no, that's "play with the cat time".....

She's a pretty cat, but I'm not going to miss her next week while we're off hiding on vacation.  I'm pretty sure Husband will appreciate getting to sleep through a night while battling my over aggressive cuddling in my sleep. 

And yes, it does get vicious.  I have been known to push him out of bed on several occasions, and then wake up mad, because he's not there. 

Fun at the Doctors' office

So, today was a very good day... if by good I mean I finally got my Xanax refilled, so I can go on a fun trip with my husband and his mom in two weeks and not spend the entire time locked in the hotel bathroom....

In order to do that, I had to go to the doctor, which wasn't a bad idea, since I keep getting ridiculously dizzy at work and then my head gets all spinny, and I'm sweating and swaying like the boat I'm on is about to turn over, and then I realize that I don't work on a boat and I'm in a land locked state and that people are looking at me really weird, and then I am not allowed to drive for two days.... So yeah, probably a good idea to go get checked out. 

Husband and I agreed that I should probably get some blood work done, check to make sure that my blood isn't poisoning me while it pumps the caffeine to and fro, and so they did... but also, because apparently my doctor is somewhat of a douche, I had an EKG... So now, in less than 2 months, I've had my brain scanned in an MRI, and EEG and and EKG.... I bet our insurance people will love that... and everything says "Normal".... I quote it, because let's be real, nothing about me is normal. 

Getting this EKG required me to wear a hospital gown, and nothing else up top, so when the poor girl came in to plug me in, I apologized that she had to move Mount Vesuvius (aka, my left boob), and she just laughed.  Thankfully, she was a bigger girl and expected how heavy that thing was. It was a little awkward, and at a point where I wanted to make small talk to feel more comfortable, but people seem to get really uncomfortable around me, so I didn't, but instead I did in my head... Probably not the same, but it was a great conversation. About on par with the ones I have with the cat, but that works.

Now, I'm waiting on blood work, so maybe that means I'm not dying, but they didn't do anything about the world spinning super fast around me, which I translated into the world revolves around me... and cutting back on caffeine is starting to kill me. 

mornings....

So, husband usually beats me at getting out of bed in the mornings, and it's because I'm usually getting to bed a lot later than he does.  It doesn't help that I don't get home until midnight on nights I work, which sucks.  A lot.  This morning wasn't any different.  Husband got out of bed and started working on his homework, while I took over our bed.  It was wonderful. 

And then I woke up. 

I'm cranky in the morning, and husband usually comes back into bed when I've woken up, so that he can combat my crankiness, and cuddle.  But I had to pee, and didn't want him squishing my bladder.  So I asked him if he would go potty for me. He said no.  Then I asked he he'd cup his hands underneath me, so I didn't have to get out of bed, he said no again.  Husband asked if I wanted a bed pan, and I said, "Yep, but only if you're cleaning it out." and then he swore at me and told me I wasn't disabled.  When I protested he said, mentally doesn't count, get your ass outta bed and pee yourself. 

What a fun suck.

Cooking

A little known fact about me, is that I love to cook. I find it relaxing to stand at the stove and create deliciousness for myself and husband. Way I don't like doing, is follow directions, which means anything that isn't a dessert is fair game to adjust. Sometimes, it works... Other times, we go get a cheeseburger. Husband used to cook, a lot more than me, but I am super picky and don't like anything... So he got tired of it and decided cooking was my job. It's not that bad, and it gives one an excuse not to have to do the dishes.

Btw, nutella brownies = amaze balls. X1000000

Music

I'm pretty sure it's unhealthy that my favorite Police song is about stalking.... but to be fair, it's one of the only good ones.  I actually had ideas for what to write today, but they only happen while I'm driving, or pretending to care in class, so that doesn't help.  I tend to try not to be a douche on the road, though when I'm walking, all bets are off. 

Hmmm, I really had something I wanted to say today, and I'm pretty sure it's gone forever, or until 3am, when I wake up to find dammit kitty and lock her in the bathroom.  She is pure evil and likes to meow at night, when I'm sleeping, and get Husband to wake up and pet her.  Because she's the devil. 

**Random note to myself, wear very loose fitting clothes when you go to visit your family and don't answer any pregnancy questions. **

Maybe if I take a nap, then I will remember things.  Or I'd have gotten a nap.... so win/win!

Hilarious

So, I find myself to be quite funny. In fact, I make myself laugh all the time. And I can ocacasionaly make others laugh as well... But then I realize they are my friends or family and then I am pretty sure they are actually plotting to put me in the loony bin.

Which would be awesome, as I wouldn't have to wear pants anymore. And I hate pants. A lot.

Yellow and blue equals....

Comments about my big and saggy jugs. Explain that me.